Flying Cows

This morning
On the 6 O'Clock news
They were showing
A couple of cows
Chewing serenely
While floating in the air
The sight filled me
With uncanny despair
I thought that if
Cows could fly
Then surely
So could I.
I wrestled a dragon
To the ground
And stuck his wings
To my behind
Climbing up a tall building
I jumped off
Then immediately realised
My enormous gaffe
None of the cows
Had been naked
Which proves that they
Were computer generated.
As my life went by
In a flash
I cursed my quick
Decision rash
If only I had
Watched the programme
On American elephants
Drinking rum
Or it certainly would have
Been more fun
If only I had thought to copy
The fishes who could run.

Love
Joydeep

A man and his dog

It was last year
On a pleasant day in June
I suddenly realised
That I was home alone.

I searched the house
Thoroughly, up and down
But saw that my missus
And kids were gone.

To give my wife a call
I picked up the phone
But to my amazement
There was no ring tone.

The receiver pressed to my lips
I was thinking where to turn
When I heard the sound of kisses
Coming from the telephone.

There followed a voice
So sweet you cannot imagine
Whispering my name
Over and over again.

Although it was wierd
I shed all inhibition
Thinking of what would follow
I got turned on.

I kissed it back
And it gave a low moan
But when I held it tight
I definitely heard a groan.

Right then a ferocious bite
Woke me to a sunny morn
For while I had been dreaming
I was chewing up my dog’s bone

Love
Joydeep
PS Don't let your dog share your bed

Nightmare

Friends I have this recurrent nightmare
About a girl I once met in a fair
Who has shiny, long, black hair
And can easily be on the cover of Vanity Fair.

She said, "Let's go and stay
At a lonely beach far, far away
On a kingsize mattress we will lay
While the sun shines, you can make hay".

I immediately took up her offer
For I cannot make a damsel suffer
I cleared the cash in my coffer
And caught a non stop flight to sunny Down Under.

When I landed with her on my arm
Grinning widely and full of charm
We got a taxi ride to a local farm
Where the cows were big and their milk warm.

Then came the shock of my life
Standing at the door was my furious wife
A broom in one hand and the other held a knife
Both of them, then, beat the shit out of my life.

Cheers to a good life!
Joydeep

ABAR JODI JONMO DAO

ABAR JODI MANUSH KORE
JANMO DAO HE PROBHU,
EI MINOTI KORI CHORONE
MODDHOBITTO NOI KOBHU.

JONMO NITE RAJI KONO
BHIKHARI MAYER KOLEY,
JONMO MRITYU SOBI RAASTAY
JIBON KAATBE HNESE KHELE.
EKTI MUTHO BHATER ASHAY
BYASTO UDAY ASTO,
BHATER SAATHE DAAL TA HOLE-
SETAO PRAPTI MOSTO.

BILL GATES HOY JODI MOR
BABA KIMBA DADU,
BHABLEI GAYE DICHHE KNATA
DEKHCHHI JENO JADU..
BREAKFAST TOKYO TE
AR LUNCH E LONDON
DINNER KORBO BAHAMA TE
SONGINI HILTON.

JONMO DIYO AMAY TUMI
PASCHIM MEDNIPURE
KHUDHAR JWALAY KONO EK DIN
ASTRO NEBO TULE.
RASHTRO JONTRO HOYTO KERE
NEBE AMAR PRAN
NIJER KACHHEI BANCHUK AMAR
NEJERI SAMMAN.

MODDHO BITTO KORE AMAY
DILE ASHESH KLESH
MODDHO MEDHA, MODDHO PONTHA,
BISHAL MODDHO PRODESH.
SOKOL SAMAY JHULCHE JENO
MATHAR OPOR KHNARA,
BHULECHHI PROTIBADER POTH
HARIYECHHI SIRDNARA.

ABAR JODI MANUSH KORE
JANMO DAO HE PROBHU
EI MINOTI KORI CHORONE
MODDHOBITTO NOI KOBHU.

SANDEEP

Lekha Likhi - Kat n Bips n more

apni likhben ei moder asha
apnar lekhay thak kat ba bipasha
bipashaar nitombo ba katrinar chumban
nie ashuk mone ononto joubon
haate thak Mojito, shopney sundori
sadharon jibonke aaj debo biroti
sundori beshtito hoe thakte chai mone
aar kono ruchi nei geroshto jibone
Likhun apni,othan jhor shada patay
mon ammar bhoriye din oshesh shotejotai.

Luv
soumen
**************************


swapne jodi pete chao Bips ke nei khoti
Kat ke chaile kopale jutbe ashes durgoti.

Dr. Johnny bose achen Mancester e tight
Kat opor neoa achhe onar copyright.

Haath baranor agei bondhu korchhi sabdhan
Johnnyr roshe jeno tomar jabei jabe pran.

Gota char ek experiment tomay niye hobe
Ager theke thik koro paliye kothay jabe

Kat er kotha bhable kori pran er asha tyag
Johnny r bhoy e sadai ready thake amar bag.

Sandeep
********************************

Katrina aar Bipasha ke niye
Swapno dekhe cholecho din raat
Bujhbe moja, jokhon tomader ball niye churbe
Salman aar John khelbe Bompaat.

Johny bechara chilo nishpaap
Korto sudhu experiment kaat kaat
Oke aar khorak na jugiye
Keno marcho tomra or pete laat?

Joydeep
******************************

likhchi aami likhcho tumi
likhchi shobai allhadey
nachhbey kat sathey bipasha
bolbey aay palladey

nachtey giye komor jodi
lotkey thakey ekbhabey
khajuraho hoye jabo
dekhbi ticket ketey

lekhar jorey swapno dekhey
banker boro babu
rishto pusto narir hathey
hotey je chay kabu

kat'er dikey takabo naa
shey banda aami noi
doc johny size bariye
debey paka dhaney moi ?

malaika kat rakhi bipasha
nachhey tiner chaley
mojito niye nimojjito
ami likhchi taley taley

Debashis

Kheyatori

Bondhuder ek kheyatori
Bheshe beray kheyalkhushi
Doorpanete jaabe bole
Diyeche shey paari

Kothai jaabe keu janena
Nei kono taar badhon mana
Ichhe hole kheya chore
Dangay uthte paari

Shishukaaler bondhu mora
Monta bejay shorol
Harate chaina shishushulobh
Shokol achoron

Chaina shokol bilashita
Praachurjo aar poisha
Jodi thake amaar saathe
Bondhuder ei adda

Uthuk jhor ga(n)ger upor
Dik na moder dola
Parbe nako korte sheje
Moder helaphela

Mukto akaash, neelaabh nodi
jaatri shokol bejay khusi
mukto dana mele taara
gaaichhe bhatiali

haariye jaake shob dukhho
bedona ebong klanti
shonghobodho pothik mora
ayki pother jaatri.

Soumen

DUSSAHOSHI KOBI

NIJHUM ANDHOKAR
KE JANE GHOR KAR.
LOAD SHEDDING ER RATI
JWALCHHE KONE EK KHANI MOMBATI.
KOBITA LIKHCHHE DUSSAHOSHI KOBI.

BHABNAR NEI GOBHIROTA
CHHONDER ACHHE DEENOTA
BONDHUDER UDDIPONAY
BHULECHHE NIJO AKKHOMOTA.
KOBITA LIKHCHHE DUSSAHOSHI KOBI.

BONDHURA SOB SODASHOY,
KORE PROSONGSHA, DEY ABHOY.
PAGOL KE SEKHALO SNAKO NARA
NEI MAAR KHABAR BHOY
KOBITA LIKHCHHE DUSSAHOSHI KOBI.

HOK NA RAAT ONDHOKAR,
JOTOI KOMUK DRISHTIR DHAR
BARUK MHATAY SONGSHARER BHAR
BONDHUR PRERONAY PAY ASWAS NOTUN SURJO OTHAR.
AR EKTA KOBITA LIKHLO DUSSAHOSHI KOBI.

Sandeep

Tribute to MJ

When I was a boy
I first heard Beat It
But the accent and the lyrics
I confess I did not get it.

Then I saw him dance
His rhythmic popping and moon walk
Realisation dawned on me
That his steps could talk.

Soon enough he became
A global phenomenon
From far east to the furthest west
Millions copied Michael Jackson.

I was hooked on his every move
I don't know what got into me
On the stroke of every midnight
His spirit would transform me.

Driving to and from work
His songs would make me sway
But this morning on the radio
I heard that he has passed away.

With the shocking news of his demise
I realised with some consternation
How badly we would all miss him
And I am overcome with emotion.

With his beautiful gift of music
The Greatest Jackson will live on forever
But with his untimely loss the world
Has got so much poorer.

I pray to God to take me instead
And leave Michael Jackson behind
As music is the food for love
He will better serve mankind.

Joydeep

A Midnight Drive

Kal raat hua jo mere saath
Kya kahoon tumhe mere yaar
Meri biwi ne mujhpe
Kiya aisa emotional atyachar.

Uska kehena tha ki main
Karta nahin aur usse pyar
Isi liye boriya bistar utha ke
Sab fek diya bahar.

Achamka ami dekhi
Mukher upor bondho dwar
Para porshi eshe bolle
Chiktar chechamechi kora bekar.

Modhyoraat elo shighro
Charidike ghutghute ondhokaar
Eke eke sobai kete porlo
Nibhlo bati sob paraar.

In a state of desperation
I went to a beer bar
Where I caught the eye of a lady
With assets beyond par.

Soon enough we were huddled
Inside my small car
While she was changing gears
I smoothly drove quite far.

Joydeep
*********************


Arvind mentions here that he was in the dicky !


*****************************

But once in brithday suit
she crossed over to back-seat
and all the mirror showed
was a twin pair of feet

In frustration i drove
while the car rocked wildly
listening only to grunts
hitting the bumpers madly

but there was a dicky bird
we knew nothing about
who cried utterly in pain
and then gave out a shout

i pulled the breaks suddenly
the babe landed in front
head down and legs up
a view for treasure hunt

i started on the job
the back seat guy cried out
a KLPD case must be
while dicky bird kicked about

me and the babe got out
imagine what happened next
all on cool green grass
cannot be put in text

And then we drove back
but I promised for good
to check my car with care
seats and below the hood

Love,
Debashis
******************

It seems like a night
You both want to forget
In the back seat or boot
Of a ride you did not get.

Time to stop your naughty dreams
And don't get me wrong
For ladies always favour
Guys who are big and strong.

Lady luck it is said
Always favours the brave
But don't drive recklessly
She may lead you to your grave.

Love
Joydeep

Bandhu kothay pabo ?

Megh kalo bhsey elo aaj
churey feli joto chilo kaaj
brishtir joley bhijey
bhablam ektu nechey nebo
kintu bondhu kothay pabo ?

sobuj ghas aar buno holud phool
haway ora tomar elo chul
eei sohor chery
bhabi durey kothao jabo...
kintu bondhu kothay pabo?

alubhaja aar raat-jaga duto ruti
alshemi bhora robibar chuti
chaley aar daley
bhabi kichuri baniye khabo...
kintu bondhu kothay pabo?

purono guitar, gan lekha chera pata
premey thasa-thasi behishabi khata
abar notun shurey
bhabi ekta gaan shonabo...
kintu bondhu kothay pabo?

chayer bhar aar kothar phul-jhuri
sathey lal-sobujer sur-suri
dupurer phata rodey
bhabi chowrongee jabo...
kintu bondhu kothay pabo?

aaro koto chobi jagey money
rekhechi sajiye ek koney
kono kono sondheybela
bhabi abar poth harabo
kintu bondhu kothay pabo?

kokhono kalo megh aashey
moner abujh ei akahshey
tokhon bhabi ekhan thekey
toder kachey paliye jabo
emon bondhu kothay aar pabo?

Debashis

This Morning

This morning when running on the treadmill
I watched the giant television
You have to believe me when I say
That a lot was going on.

A young woman was working out
With legs raised up high
Wearing a skimpy outfit
The colour of a summer sky.

Seeing her swinging her arms
And vigorously shaking her booty
I began to feel very thirsty
And yearned for a taste of her tooty frooty.

Onno channel-e dekhi Bollywood khobor
Reality TV te dekhae nayikader snan
Ei protijyogitaye uttejona chorome
Karon aaj snan korche Rakhi, Katrina aar Gauhar Khan.

Jhornar jole songeeter sure
Tara dekhalo koto notun kaaj
Camera niye gelo pichu pichu
Ami na mor-ey pouche gelam swargaraaj.

Doosre channel jaldi se bhaga
Jab suna patni ka padakshep
Wahan chal rahi thi Ram Katha
Ravan kar raha tha Sita ko rape.

Agle channel mein dekha Mahabharat
Machi bawaal Pandav aur Kauravon ke beech
Bheem ko Duryodhan ne lalkara
Draupadi ka cheer kisi ne diya kheech.

Man mein mere lag gayi aag
Jab dekha itne nariyon ko bina vastra
Main to hoon sirf ek insaan
Bhagwaan ne bhi haath mein le liya apna astra.

Joydeep

Happy Birthday Shubashish

I wish you a very happy birthday
A day that brings good cheer
We may live thousands of miles apart
But in our hearts we live very near.

I wish you a very happy birthday
And pray that you have a wonderful year
May you be blessed with happiness
And never have to shed another tear.

I wish you a very happy birthday
For a lifetime of friendship to bear
Your songs always brings utmost delight
May your voice never quaver.

Joydeep - 22/06/09

Shiney by Sandeep

NAMTA TOMAR UJJWAL BESH
LOKE DAAKE SHINEY.
KEMON KORE KORLE RE BHAI
KAJ EMON BE-AINI?

KAJER MEYE ESECHHILO
KORTE GHAR SAF
JORIYE DHORE TAKE NIYE
BICHHANAY DILE LAF.

GAYER JORE MITIYE NILE
DEHER JOTO SUKH,
BHOY DEKHIYE RAKHTE CHAILE
TAR BONDHO MUKH.

KANNA KATI KORCHHO NAKI
GIYE TUMI JAIL E
HOYTO ABAR KORBE EMON
SUJOG JODI MELE.

DOSH NEI GHEE DHALLE BESHI
KALPANAY KHELE BHAT
SWAPNE RAKHI, KATRINA DEKHE
MARTE NA HOY HAATH.

Sandeep Chatterjee
******************************

Obak korle Sandeep khuro
Eto line dhore
Shiney'r gaan jure
Korle nijer matha muro.

Obak korle Sandeep khuro
Haathe bonduker bhar
Samle guli ojondar
Swapno doshe bichana chero.

Obak korle Sandeep khuro
Salman-er lathi'r bari
Pithe porle mairi
Hobe tomar sob haar guro.

Obak korle Sandeep khuro
Kolkatar buk chere
Andaman-er rod-dure
Jail khatle hobe okale buro.

Joydeep
*********************

Travel - A Superb Exchange

I want to go to America
My friends are calling from there
They have populated every city
From Detroit to Delaware.

I want to go to America
Where love and sex are free
One can have them as easily
As plucking fruits from a roadside tree.

I want to go to America
Where a girl can ask for more and more
She can run naked on an open beach
But no one calls her a whore.

I want to go to America
But dare not go too soon
As health care and insurance
Will cost me the moon.

I (am not sure) want to go to America
I'm afraid what Americans might say
When I walk hand in hand with my school friends
They are sure to shout "These men are gay"!

Love
Joydeep
********************
SUDHU NOI AMERICA BONDHU!
PEROTE CHAI SOPTO SINDHU, TEPANTORER MAATH.
AWSHAHAY COKHE CHARI DIKE CHAHI,
POCKET GORER MAATH.

GOOGLE MAP I JAHAH AMAR
GOOGLE MAP I GARI.
TAR I PAKHAY BHOR DIYE BHAI
DI BISWA BHUBAN PARI.

Sandeep
*********************

Ghumiye ghumiye Google map-e
Biswa bhuban pari debe
Swapno hotat bhenge gele
Mon-ey byatha bodoi pabe.

Tai to boli koro bank dakati
Ba chepe dhoro shoshurer tuti
Je korei hok ei goromer chuti
Plane chodey America ghurey esho rata rati.

Dekhbe tepantorer math ekhon concrete jongol
Bandh dhorey rekheche sopto sindhur jol
Hollywood kanpache Rahman er dol bol
Petrol chede, howar garite chodbi to bol.

Love
Joydeep
************************

CHEPE DHORTE PARI SOSURER TNUTI,
LOOT TE PARI BANK BHANDAR.
PARIS, LONDON HOBE KINA JANI NA-
NISCHIT, JAIL I HOBE GHOR AMAR.

KATBE JIBON JAIL E JAIL E
AR GHURBO NANAN COURT GULO,
LOOTBE MOJA, GHURBE BIDESH
SALA PESHKAR AR UKIL GULO.

AASBE DEBA KOLKATA TE
KHABE SOBAI MOJITO.
TOKHON AMI JAIL E BOSE
KHABO DANDAR GHA KOTO.

JEDIN ADDA EKDALIAY,
JADU KE NIYE BHIR KOTO.
AMI TOKHN JAIL KHANAY
MOSHAY PRAN OSHTHAGOTO.

TAI TO MELECHHI ICHCHHA DANA
SONGINI AJ KALPANA
GOOGLE MAP ACHHE JOKHON
HARIYE JETE NEI MANA.

Sandeep
********************
Jailkhana ke bhoi peyona
Jail khat-te nei to mana
Naam jodi chao
Jail khat-te jao
Nehru, Gandhi ke mon-ey porena?
Ache joto tomar supto basona
Aar jodi chao bichana-tey Katrina
Muscle banao
Maal kamao
Onner poisaye ki kokhono haath marona?
Swapno tumi aar dekhona
Thakte hobena jail khana
Churi bidya
Moha bidya
Sudhu dekho jeno dhora porona!

Joydeep
*****************

Sandeep ....

jail jodi hoi nibash,
andaman koro proyash,

somudro aar baluka jethai,
shomoy bhalo katano jai,

shorir sastho changa kore,
firbe jobe kolkatar tore,

ekdaliay boshbey ashor,
aashbe sethai praner doshor,

miliye sur, biliye sura,
korbo din-ke raat mora.

ghuriye shomoy-er kata,
hobo abar para'r dada,

bhor ratre poolish ele,
shobai mile jabo jail-e,

abar Andaman gami,
Sandeep aar kichu nishpap prani

Chayan
*********************

Rains - an exchange

Oh lord...

give us the rains
and a rain soaked rakhi sawant
a simple innocent wish
hope this - you will grant

and some music with that
to make the pulse high
while your showers pour on her
across the face to the thigh

and a dance to remember
to stir deep inside
while watching her moves
and nothing much to hide

cooling our burning souls
in chorus we saint's will chant
a simple innocent wish
hope this - you will sure grant !

Love and enjoy!
Debashis


*********************
Dear Debashis

I see you chant a prayer
For a dancing Rakhi in the rain
I don't know whether to laugh
Or pity your poor brain.

You can pray for the health
Of any of God's own creation
But Rakhi was made by a surgeon's knife
Did you not have that information?

As for dreaming of a hot wet Rakhi
I am sure you could have chosen a better one
Then we could have all danced together
To mental and physical exhaustion.

Love
Joydeep

***********************

Dear Joydeep,

send me the clouds
send me the rain
cant see the greens
so much in pain

send me the shower
send me the pricks
let them all fill
the cracks and nicks

send me the thunder
send me the dark
send me the clouds
the song of the lark

send me the river
full in high tide
send me the boatman
who sang while he cried

bad bad summer
and blistering heat
like a pig in mud
we feel like shit

send me the rains
to cool my soul
with rum and coke
I will be on a roll

Debashis
************************

Dear Deba

This monsoon deluge
Uncovers desire and passion
To hold her in my arms
Forgetting time and season.
Saawan ne lagaayi hai aag
Machal raha hai mera mun
Badan pe chadha thandi bukhaar
Chooney ko chahe tera komal tun..
Ei srabon amaaye korlo ochol
Borsha raatey holo paagol mon
Baire toofan aanlo proloy
Agneyogiri hridoy korey nishobdo bishforon.

Love,
Joydeep

*********************
Dear Debashis

I hear the wind singing
The roaring and groaning
Of monstrous waves galloping
Rushing and rearing.
The sky above looming
Dark and menacing
Frothing and maddenning
Flashes of lightning.
There follows a loud clapping
Thunder so deafening
Then the deluge of raining
Gallons of water pouring.

Joydeep
******************

If I could touch Rakhi, my punch lines would have been

Shudhu Ekbar Tomake Chhobo, Oi Anonnde Kete Jabe Shohosro Jibon /
Shudhu Ekbar Tomake Chhobo, Ohongkare Muchhe Jabe Shokol Dinota /
Shudhu Ekbar Tomake Chhobo, Sporsho Shukhe Lekha Hobe Ojosro Kobita /
Shudhu Ekbar Tomake Chhobo, Omorotto Bondi Hobe Hater Muthoi /
Shudhu Ekbar Tomake Chhobo, Shudhu Ekbar Pete Chai Omrito Ashshad /
Shudhu Ekbar Tomake Chhobo, Tarpor Hobo Itihash

Arup
********************

Shinibar - bhebeychilam onno kichu korbo - khultei dekhi apurbo kobita - chondo milabar lov shamlatey parlam na...

Shudhu Ekbar Tomake Chhobo, Oi Anonnde Kete Jabe Shohosro Jibon /
Jodi STD hoy khoti nei, daktar nebe shob joma dhon

Shudhu Ekbar Tomake Chhobo, Ohongkare Muchhe Jabe Shokol Dinota /
Jodi siphilis dao tumi khoti nei, scratch korey katbey eei jibonta

Shudhu Ekbar Tomake Chhobo, Sporsho Shukhe Lekha Hobe Ojosro Kobita /
Jodi chanpey nishash hoy bondho, money rekho amar nirobota

Shudhu Ekbar Tomake Chhobo, Omorotto Bondi Hobe Hater Muthoi /
Jodi nichey poune-saat nao bajey, karon kata ekhon sudhu sharey-choy

Shudhu Ekbar Tomake Chhobo, Shudhu Ekbar Pete Chai Omrito Ashshad /
Allergy holey khoti nei, diyona morey chulkani ba dad

Shudhu Ekbar Tomake Chhobo, Tarpor Hobo Itihash
Sudhu AIDS diyona amay, chobena keu eei pocha lash

Debashis
************************

SWAPNE AMAR NACHE JODI
MALLIKA, RAKHI, KATRINA..
NOYTO KONO KACHER KEU
NAM GULO? THAK! BOLBO NA.

HRIDOY JODI HOY HOK BIKOL,
NAKE LAGOOK OXY NOLL
BICHHANAY KUSTI KORE
KLANTO AMI HOBO NA..


GINNI JODI REGE GIYE
LAGAY JUTOR BARI,
TOBU O EMON SWAPNER
SAATHE KORBO NA GO ARI.

Sandeep
**********************

Still No rains :(

Even Rakhi got cramps
waiting for the rain
standing in the sun
the fiesta in vain...

The clouds hovered above
but the winds pushed away
winds not so strong
the saree would not sway...

Sweats ran from cheeks
but never in a flood
to wet the lustrous babe
and heat up our blood...

Maybe Rakhi should go
and Katrina would come
to bring in the rains
and pleasure for some

Debashis
*******************

Surprise

Surprise, surprise
Those awesome lines
DebaJoy you mesmerize
As Sandeep fantasize.
And Arup’s reverie
With femme fatale Rakhi
Bring in fresh air
In this scorching hemisphere

So, back with a bang
Is our school gang
I do not want rain
Nor do I mind the summer
As these lines pour in
And soothe my thirsty ear
It was a long wait
Oh my friends so dear
As these lyrical lines
Bring us close and near.

Soumen
**********************